Just Me

As we get further and further away from the COVID lockdown, things appear to be returning to normal but it’s really not. On one hand, things feel sluggish and it challenging to get out of the house to go do things (and to get the kids moving, too). With all the outside factors, such as inflation, the war in Ukraine, shootings and other depressing news, the world feels so heavy and moving about in it is such an effort. On the other hand, once I’m out of the house, it’s lovely being around others, whether it’s seeing friends and acquaintances I haven’t seen in awhile or at communal gatherings like concerts, where I feel such a sense of gratitude be immersed in such positive energy.

Yet I’ve noticed that going out makes me relish being home even more and I need more time to decompress between outings and interactions. A few months ago I became aware of this after a guest left our house. Although we had a nice visit, after she left, I needed to just relax on my bed and take a breath. The first verse of “Just Me” came soon after.

I can let my guard down, I can kick off my shoes
No one here to judge me, I can do what I choose
I like having company, but I don’t mind when they go
When the door closes, don’t need to be who they know

These thoughts became this new song, which I wrote on keyboard.

Ba-ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-da It’s just me
Ba-ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-da It’s all I can be
For better or for worse, living life like an introvert
Hope no one’s feelings are hurt when they see
Sometimes I need to be just me

In most cases I prefer small groups rather than larger crowds and enjoy having more in-depth one-on-one conversations than the cocktail party small talk when you drift from person to person.

I’m a people person, l like meeting someone new
Enjoy hearing their stories, learning ’bout what they do
There’s a time to socialize, and I don’t mind when it ends
I head for the exit and wave goodbye to my friends

For better or for worse, living life like an introvert
Hope no one’s feelings get hurt when they see
Sometimes I need to be just me

One positive aspect that has lingered from the pandemic is all the online learning that is available (even if I tend to keep my video off during the Zoom calls). It is phenomenal and there are so many inspiring, positive, helpful musicians who are excited about teaching others! Last month I joined Sam’s Recording Academy, where I am learning more about recording songs and gaining inspiration to try different kinds of songs. Unfortunately I haven’t made it to any live calls since they occur during school pick-up but I’ve already learned so much from the prerecorded lessons and from the replays of the live meetings. I’ve also just joined Songtown, which has some incredible resources that I’m learning about. I can’t wait to dive further in all that offers.

I haven’t spent much time recording, however, because after feeling overwhelmed by taking on too much things in too many directions, I decided I needed to focus on one thing at a time and I wanted to start with my health. I’ve been wanting to lose those last few pounds from my last pregnancy for awhile now (my youngest is now 12) so with some guidance from a program from Sharny & Julius, I focused on that – no dairy, grains or sugar for 56 days. Since this means no processed food, a lot more time was devoted to food prep. My husband does most of the cooking so I took over more than usual and I’m so appreciative that he also adjusted his cooking to accommodate my new dietary needs. I’m happy to say I lost 14 lbs. over the 56 days and now my BMI is in the healthy range. Now I need to maintain that, but hopefully I’ve learned some healthier habits along the way.

As I prepared meals, I watched the recording academy videos and other songwriting/producing videos but I’m looking forward to soon getting back on the DAW and putting some of those lessons in action.

Here’s the recording I did of “Just Me” a couple of months ago, just keyboards and vocals.