Week #9: It’s Me, Not You

What will a year of social distancing and isolation mean once we return to gathering in crowds again? Now that we’re getting used to Zoom correspondence, with the option of turning off your video and typing in chat boxes rather than real-time chatting in person, will it be a difficult transition?

That’s the idea of this week’s song, “It’s Me Not You.” I recently went to an in-person (outdoors, masked and social-distanced) event and ran into someone who I’ve known for more than a decade and have had plenty of nice conversations with over the years. I was happy to see her and went over to say hello. After the basic “How are you?!” there wasn’t much to say. Soon someone else came over to speak with her and I moved on.

I started working on this song when I got home.

I guess we’re not really friends
Though we see each other now and then
We smile and try to think of something to say
Then wait for a chance to walk away

I really admire this person and although we run in the same circles, we’ve never been friends. It’s not that I don’t want to be, it’s just that we’ve never clicked to that extent. There are plenty of other people, too, that I feel are amazing but never developed a friendship with. Why is that there are some people you just click with and open up to and develop a strong bond with while others remain acquaintances?

I’m not sure what kind of vibe I put out when I’m in social situations, but it occurred to me that sometimes in my sense of being uncomfortable in some social situations, perhaps I’ve put off a vibe that I don’t like someone. Although I do find a few types of people irritating, I usually like everyone to some extent so I hope I don’t put off a negative vibe.

It’s not that I don’t like you, I do
It’s me, it’s not you
It’s me, not you
It’s me, not you

When I think back to when I would attend large social events (remember those?), I tended to arrive a little late and leave early (except for the times I was among the last to leave), sometimes leaving abruptly after a brief thank you to the host.

I arrive late and leave early
Head for the door in a hurry
It’s not personal, when I reach my social threshold
I’m ready to go

With vaccinations for COVID-19 now becoming more readily available, the opportunity to gather together again is getting closer. I’m looking forward to those days, although I also am getting used to Zoomed socialization, too.

One benefit of being at home more is that I’ve been able to work more on my songwriting. I’ve resumed the From Voice Memo to Demo class, taught by the incredible Kris Bradley, a singer-songwriter-turned producer who explains everything so clearly.

For this song, I watched the mixing videos and tried to do some mixing as I learned about EQs, compression and reverb. Although I still don’t really know what I’m doing, there are moments when I think I may be starting to understand it. Meanwhile, here’s the new song, “It’s Me, Not You.”